Stop Bullying Now!

October is National Bullying Prevention Month and I’m on a mission to stop bullying because the negative effects can last a lifetime.

I was bullied, but have never publicly talked about it….until now.  This is an emotional topic and difficult to talk about for so many reasons, and the embarrassment from it kept me from telling family and friends for a long time.  My sole purpose in sharing my story is to emphasize WHY it’s urgent to stop bullying.

Disclosure: I won’t be naming the people that bullied me because I choose to believe they have grown up, and hopefully they are regretful for their actions. I am also not writing this for sympathy, so please don’t feel sorry for me.  I’m eternally grateful for these experiences because of the strong and big-hearted person they’ve made me today. 🙂

Where to start….(I’ve edited this post over 10x, so bear with me.)

To say I was a late bloomer is an understatement.  The girl you see in my photos today is unrecognizable, physically and emotionally, from the one you’ll learn about in this post.

From kindergarten to 8th grade, I was blessed to attend a small Christian school where I was sheltered, accepted, and loved for all the right reasons – my outgoing personality, loving heart, athleticism, and the fact that I was Salutatorian (in a class of 15 students lol).  Sure, I was a little chubby with coke bottle glasses and had braces to correct my extreme overbite, but no one from my tiny group of peers had ever made fun of me.  I was blissfully clueless about being ‘different’. 

The summer before 9th grade I was giddy about finally going to Robert E. Lee – a public high school full of new friends and the possibility of being on the Southern Belle drill team (my dream since I was a little girl and the reason I started dance lessons at 3 years old).  Since I was in a typical Texas town, I grew up going to high school football games where I saw my future classmates, knew their names before even meeting them, and was already dreaming about slumber parties with all my new friends before my first day of school.  

My excitement quickly disappeared when I realized making friends in a school with thousands of students was harder than I anticipated. Most of these girls had known each other since kindergarten, so the “cliques” (I hate that word) were already established. My first panic attack happened in September of ‘91 when I received a phone call from not one, but 3 very mean people (all conferenced in) to reiterate in many different ways that I was a joke, would never be accepted, and should quit trying so hard. Whoa. That was tough for a 13-year-old to hear, and I began to wonder for the first time in my sheltered life, “What’s wrong with me?”

Then reality slapped me in the face. Quite literally. I would walk through the cafeteria and people would mumble “Pan Pan”. Thinking nothing of it, I assumed they were craving pizza since Little Caesar’s jingle was “Pan-Pan, Pizza Pizza.” (I’ve hated pan pizza ever since.)

Anyhow, that’s not important. What IS important is what they meant.

I’ll never forget asking a popular senior girl why they always said that around me. These are the kind of words that you can’t ever forget, “Because you look like you’ve been smashed in the face with a pan.” And at that very moment, I realized I wasn’t just not pretty; I was pretty ugly.

Oddly enough, and this is what you need to know, I didn’t tell anyone. I was too embarrassed and ashamed that if I told anyone, they too would see what others saw and would stop liking me. Most of the time, people that are bullied stay quiet. 

Approximately 25% of students in 6-12th grades are bullied.  Only about 20% to 30% of students who are bullied notify adults about the bullying. ~ StopBullying.gov

“Bullying” has always been an epidemic, but wasn’t talked about as something that serious decades ago. Fortunately, there are so many resources and counselors that specialize in how to address and stop bullying campaigns, and I’ve linked to some educational sites that you can check out.

You know your child (or friend) better than anyone, and from personal experience, if someone is acting differently – if they’re always sad or anxious after school or a public event, struggling with simple tasks, staying home, and not taking care of themselves – then they could be experiencing bullying.  Now may be the time to step in.

Sadly, there are no anti-bullying laws; 49 states have anti-bullying legislation, but bullying is not illegal.

As for me? By the grace of God, He made me feel whole. He reminded me how smart and talented I am, so I focused on honing my skills and it paid off.  I made a coveted officer spot on the drill team, graduated at the top of my class, and got a scholarship to Texas A&M. From that point forward, I was determined to prove I could be accepted, I could be attractive, I could be successful, and I could help stop bullying.

However, I soon discovered that the flip side had its many curses too. Once I realized that people liked me more for shallow reasons, it really messed with my mind. The effort it took to maintain all those frivolous things were exhausting, and I spent years chasing the world’s image of perfection which led to an eating disorder I’ve been open about.

I’m thankful I’ve matured spiritually, and understand God created me in His perfect image. Hallelujah! Of course, those insecurities creep back from time to time, and they always will. It breaks my heart for any child to be targeted by physical, emotional, or cyber bullies, so my mission is to stop bullying because it’s a lifelong battle for victims.

Feel free to share my story if you think it will help more people stop bullying.

❌⭕️