In society, being a perfectionist is code for, “I do things really well.” In fact, I’d be willing to bet a lot of you have answered ‘being a perfectionist’ as your biggest weakness in an interview because it can be spun into a strength. After all, what employer wouldn’t want you to be obsessed with every little detail while you’re on the clock?
But perfectionism can drag you down and keep you from becoming all that you’re meant to be! If you consider yourself a perfectionist, stop and ask yourself these questions:
What will people think?
This line of thinking is a death trap for authenticity because you’ll waste your time and energy transforming into someone you think other people expect you to be. You tell yourself, “If I look and act perfect, I can avoid criticism instead of being my real self and not measuring up to their expectations.”
There are so many things wrong with this idea, but let’s start with the obvious: Perfection is impossible. It doesn’t exist and thank God he didn’t create us that way! We were born imperfect by design so we have to rely on God (not ourselves) as we navigate through this crazy life. It’s a lot easier to surrender the need to be perfect to Him.
Why am I procrastinating?
“Perfectionism is not excellence, it is procrastination based on fear.” – Alli Worthington
Oh Lordy, this is me. In fact, wanna know why you haven’t heard from me in a while? Here’s the black hole: writing, editing, re-writing, obsessing, and scrapping the blog post idea. Repeat.
I had a come-to-Jesus talk (literally), and asked Him to spark my joy of creating content. Isn’t it funny that He led me to write about the very thing that has stalled me from nurturing my gift of writing?
We all have gifts, but they’re given to us in a raw form. A diamond doesn’t start off sparkly and perfect; it takes 1 – 3.3 BILLION years to go from formation to finished product, and I’ve yet to see a perfect diamond! I’d consider humans to be a lot more complex than gemstones, so there’s no way we can be flawless within a lifetime.
Why am I always stressed?
“When perfectionism is driving, shame is ALWAYS riding shotgun.” – Brene Brown
If your focus is on the end result being perfect and you miss the mark, this leads to a sense of failure and shame. Try this: Instead of seeing a task or project as a test you’ll be graded on, see it as an experiment. Experimentation is done without a fear of failure; testing is done with with an expectation of a winner.
I’ve yet to meet one person that enjoyed taking exam finals, so why in the world do we willingly expose ourselves to this undue pressure?
What’s wrong with striving to be better?
Absolutely nothing. However, perfectionism kills progress because better isn’t good enough; if a perfectionist doesn’t get it right the first time, most often they abandon the project or relationship all together. Ironically, trying to be perfect all the time is the archenemy of personal growth because it leaves no room for improvement. Being perfect is black and white; either you are or you’re not.
I’ll save you some time in trying to figure it out, you’re not! Going from good to great is done right with small steps. You don’t want to miss out on the journey and lessons along the way.
Enricoh Alfonzo says
wow!! i related & resonated with this so much especially on the procrastination part.
Hello Whitney says
Thanks, Enricoh! I think it’s definitely something we can all relate to.
Sabrina Must says
this is such an important topic to discss. I’m such a perfectionist too! Thanks for sharing!
Hello Whitney says
Thanks, Sabrina! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Brandy says
I have one child who is a perfectionist and I’ve worked hard to develop a different mindset so that she doesn’t end up stressed. it would make her crazy, now she’s a little better about getting the job done right and done well but without having to be perfect.
Hello Whitney says
Sounds like you’re doing such a great job with her! It’s so valuable to learn those skills early 🙂
Sabrina Must says
This is a great post. It’s so helpful for me because I tend to procrastinate when I’m stressed. Thank you for the tips.
Hello Whitney says
Glad you enjoyed it, Sabrina! It’s so easy to procrastinate when we’re overwhelmed.
jenn says
It can get frustrating when you find yourself in a rut, especially when creating content but this is a great article to read at that point in time!
Hello Whitney says
It definitely can! Glad you found this timely 🙂
Gena says
This is such a great post! I am working towards stop being a perfectionist as it takes so much time, ruins pressures moments and set the expectations. It’s so nice I run into your post! So helpful
Hello Whitney says
Perfectionism absolutely does just that. Great summary!
Nayna Kanabar says
HAving attention to detail is a great quality but sometimes when we try and be a perfectionist in unnecessary situations it just brings on stress.
Hello Whitney says
You’re absolutely right. I think it’s important for there to be a balance 🙂
Clarice / Camping for Women says
I totally agree that being a perfectionist is not really positive. Employers generally like this trait but for personal relationship — it actually causes a bit of a trouble. Sadly, I am saying this from my own personal experience.
Hello Whitney says
It definitely can; I completely agree!
Chloe @callmecoco.co says
I can totally relate. I often let perfectionism stop me from doing what I want, because I wait for the perfect moment, or to have the perfect skills etc…
Hello Whitney says
I completely understand. But I think we’ll often never feel ready for the things that really move us forward in life! We can’t let perfectionism hold us back 🙂
Gladys Nava says
Yeah! I enjoy reading your blog and actually, you have great points on it. Thanks for sharing!
Hello Whitney says
Thanks so much, Gladys!
Elizabeth O says
Yes, nobody is perfect and I remember miley’s song. your post is so good. when we only think about how to be perfect, it may lead to stress and end up harming for our health. i really liked your article.
Hello Whitney says
Thanks Elizabeth! I completely agree.
Tammy Rosales says
BAM! 1, 2, 3 and 4 so very true…..Procrastination is my name, but to me it’s because I worry that it is not right or perfect, or even ready for someone to hear, align with or even relate. BUT I’m learning to #release and not to worry so much about the opinions of others about myself or what I do. My opinion of myself is more important to me…..love this article sweet lady!!!
Hello Whitney says
Aw, thank you Tammy! Glad this resonated with you <3
Cătălina-Iuliana Nini says
Writting, editing, re-writting, obsessing. I do this to when I came up with new blog post ideas. Now I have a new strategy, i write for 30 minutes. Just write without overthinking, revising or making any corrections. i have to say it works, stops my perfectionism.
Hello Whitney says
That’s such great advice, Catalina! Thanks for sharing!
Ivan Jose says
Perfectionism is detrimental to relationships especially if one person imposes his ideals on another person who has a different outlook.
Hello Whitney says
I agree! Thanks for reading, Ivan!